Changes
by Lilybelmae
Summary: After Johnny and Dallas died, a lot changed for Ponyboy Curtis. Life throws a few curveballs at his family and suddenly, Ponyboy's left relying on the one person he pushed away: his oldest brother, Darry. Will Ponyboy and Darry's relationship heal over time? Will everything be alright again after these crazy years? Only time will tell.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I'm really sorry about not writing an Outsiders story lately. I've been on a Harry Potter kick and I've been super busy! But here's a story of what I believed happened after The Outsiders including Pony's cameo in That Was Then, This is Now!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders, the lovely and talented SE Hinton does :)**

It was Monday and I was in my first period English class. My palms were shaking and I was sweating something fierce. Today was the day I was supposed to hand in my semester theme to Mr. Syme. I had stayed up and written from ten at night until three in the morning to finish that theme. I had let everything from the past few weeks fly out of my mind, through my pen and onto the notebook paper in front of me. I wrote and wrote until my hands cramped and I felt completely drained. I decided that the best place to end my theme was where I began, which was something like this: _When I stepped out into the bright sunlight, from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home._

Now, class was ending and Mr. Syme was asking us to please leave our finished themes on his desk. I walked up to Mr. Syme's desk, my legs feeling like jello and feeling like I was going to lose my lunch. Still, I walked forward and placed my notebook on top of the other, much shorter themes on Mr. Syme's desk, refusing to lose my nerve. This was important, I had to share the story of what happened to us that week. I had to share it, for Bob, for Dallas and most importantly, for Johnny. I still missed Johnny and Dally something awful, but I wasn't as out of it as I had been. In fact, I felt pretty embarrassed about acting like a mental case over it. I mean, when my parents died, my grades didn't slip and I didn't pretend they were alive like I did with Johnny. Then again, maybe my heart couldn't stand losing anybody else and was just trying to protect me from the pain.

I left English, grabbed my math book from my locker, and headed off to face the rest of the day. School went by in a blur of activity and soon it was time to meet Two-Bit and Steve so we could head home. I got my homework together and I was almost out the door when I was tapped on the shoulder by someone familiar.

"Hi Ponyboy. It's nice to see you getting back to your old self again. Will I be seeing you at tryouts for next year's track team on Friday?"

"Hi Coach. Yeah, I'll be there. I just have to ask Darry first," I replied.

Coach Andrews shot me a grin, "I'm sure it'll be fine. I know that brother of yours. I'll see you Friday,"

"See you Friday, Coach," I smiled and waved at him as I walked out the door to meet my friends.

Two-Bit and Steve dropped me off at home since Steve had to work and Two-Bit had to watch his sister. I got my homework out of the way since I knew Darry'd ask if I got it done as soon as he walked in the door. I also got to work cleaning the house and fixing Darry's favourite for dinner: meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas. He was a pretty predictable guy, if you know what I mean. I knew if I got on his good side, Darry would be more likely to let me try out for track. I was broken out of my thoughts by the phone ringing. I picked it up and it turned out to be Sodapop.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Pony,"

"Hey, Soda, what's up? Are you working late again?" I asked.

"Yep, I picked up four extra hours cause Bill that no good (he let out some dirty names after "good") called in "sick" again. I swear he's gonna lose his job here cause he barely ever shows up. Anyway, tell Darry I'll be back by nine, me and Steve are gonna work on the Thunderbird,"

The "Thunderbird" was the nickname Soda and Steve gave this old junker of a car they found in the junkyard a few weeks ago. They were convinced they could get it up and running again, but Darry and I weren't so sure.

"Alright, Soda, see ya later," I replied.

"See ya later, kiddo," he said, then he hung up.

As soon as Soda hung up, I ran into the kitchen to check the meatloaf I'd nearly forgotten about. Luckily, it wasn't burnt, and was actually done, so I turned on the oven to keep it warm. While I waited for Darry to get home, I mashed the potatoes and boiled the peas. I was just setting dinner on the table when I heard a familiar voice call,

"Ponyboy, Sodapop, I'm home!"

"Hey, Darry," I smiled as he walked into the kitchen. "How was work?"

"Long," Darry sighed. "I'm glad its over for today. You finish your homework, kid?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I knew Darry despised it and would tell me off for being rude and he was right.

"Yeah, I finished my homework," I answered. "I actually remembered to bring it home for a change,"

"Good and don't get mouthy," Darry replied. "Can I see it?"

I handed Darry my homework and he began his nightly ritual of looking over it before dinner. Darry always liked to go over my homework so he could catch any mistakes I made and point them out to me so I could fix them. He looked over everything slowly and carefully, then said,

"Not bad kid, not bad at all,"

I couldn't help but smile; it made me feel real good that my big brother approved of my answers.

"Do I need to fix anything?" I asked Darry.

"Just some algebra problems and you need to rewrite a few of your answers for your history homework. You accidentally switched the answers for questions c and d,"

"Oops," I sighed. "I'll get right on that Dar,"

"After dinner, ok, kiddo? I'm starving! Thanks for cooking by the way,"

"You're welcome," I smiled. "It's meatloaf, your favourite. Oh, Soda called, he said he's working late and then he and Steve are gonna work on the Thunderbird. He'll be home by nine,"

"He'd better be, it's a work night," Darry sighed.

We sat down silently and helped ourselves to some supper. It was just us tonight, which was nice for a change. I mean don't get me wrong I love Sodapop and I love my friends but it's nice not to have to fight for second helpings. We left a plate for Sodapop in the oven and I went to fix my homework. The history was easy to fix and I sighed at my own mistakes. The math was a little bit harder. I just couldn't figure out where I went wrong and kept getting the wrong answer no matter how many times I tried to fix it. I finally swallowed my pride and walked out to the living room to ask Darry for help. He was knee deep in bills as usual when I walked up to him. I cleared my throat and Darry looked up at me from the electric bill.

"Hey, kiddo, what's up?" he asked.

"I don't get this math, Dar," I sighed. "I just can't seem to get the right answer no matter how I hard I try,"

"Come here, Ponyboy," Darry beckoned me to the armchair. "What part of it's confusing you, kid?"

"Everything!" I yelled frustrated as I walked over to Darry. "I just don't get how to solve it! God, I'm so stupid!"

"Hey!" Darry grabbed my chin and turned me, surprisingly gently, to look at him. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis, you are not stupid."

"Yes, I am," I whine pitifully.

"No, you're not," Darry said firmly. "You're just a little confused right now,"

"I wish I wasn't," I ducked my head because if you want to know the truth, I was trying hard not to bawl, and failing miserably. "I wish I never got my head kicked or got sick in the first place,"

I felt Darry stroke his hand on my cheek and wipe away the tears leaking out of my eyes.

"I know, Pony, I know," he murmured gently, "It ain't your fault that that happened ok?"

"Yes, it is," I replied quietly. "If I hadn't come home late and run away, none of this would have happened, we wouldn't have lost anybody!"

And then I started bawling, right in front of Darry of all people. I couldn't help it; it just hit me hard all of a sudden that Johnny and Dallas really were gone and it was all my fault. Darry pulled me onto his lap and started rocking me and gently running his fingers through my hair.

"Shh, baby, shh," he consoled. "It's alright, Ponyboy, it ain't your fault, ok? If it's anybody's fault, it's mine. I never should have hit you that night. There ain't no excuse for it and if I had just controlled my temper, this whole mess would never have happened,"

"But Darry," I sobbed. "It ain't your fault. I came in late and I deserved it. I was acting like a baby over it."

"Pony, honey," Darry said gently, "it is my fault. Just because you came in late doesn't mean you deserved to be hit. Grounded maybe, but not hit; there is never an excuse to hit people, especially your family,"

I wiped my eyes and nose with the back of my sleeve. "But it still ain't your fault. I forgive you for hitting me, Darry. I know you didn't mean it. Those socs would have attacked Johnny and me another time if they didn't get us that night,"

"See, sometimes crappy stuff just happens and there ain't nothing we can do about it," Darry cracked one of his rare grins, "And thanks for forgiving me, little buddy. Now, let's see what we can do about that math huh?"

Darry sat with me and we worked on those math problems for well over an hour. I was surprised Darry didn't lose his patience with me. I guess years of helping Soda with his homework must have made him really patient about this stuff. When I finally finished the last problem without help, I turned to Darry and said,

"Thanks for helping me with this,"

"No problem, kiddo," Darry smiled, ruffling my hair. "You can always ask me for help with stuff like this,"

I scowled and fixed my hair. Then I remembered that I still had to ask Darry about track tryouts. Well, I thought, now's as good a time as any.

"Darry?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I go out for track on Friday?"

"I don't know, kiddo," Darry sighed, rubbing his temples. "You're still kinda confused from getting your head kicked and I don't want the injury getting worse,"

"Oh, come on Darry," I pleaded. "The tryouts are for next year's team, not this year's,"

"I still don't know if it's a good idea for you to be running," Darry replied uneasily.

"I won't overdo it and I'll even quit smoking," I bargained. "Please, Darry?"

I put on my best puppy dog face, batting my eyelashes at my big brother. If I wasn't so focused on getting what I wanted I might have laughed. It isn't everyday you see a tough hood making puppy dog eyes at his big brother.

"Well, alright," Darry conceded. "But, only if the doc says it ok and you quit smoking. I want your health to be in tip top shape if your gonna be running,"

"Oh, thank you, Darry, thank you!" I cried in delight and hugged the daylights out of my older brother.

"You're welcome, kid brother," Darry laughed. "Now get outta my hair, I've got bills to pay,"

I went to my room, grinning like a Chessy cat and wondered how in the world I was gonna quit smoking…

 **Will Ponyboy be able to quit smoking? Will his theme bring his grade up? Tune in next time to find out! Now, review, review, review! And don't forget to stay gold!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next installment of Changes! I hope you like it! Now, here's Ponyboy with the disclaimer.**

 **Ponyboy: Lilybelmae does not own The Outsiders. Ms. SE Hinton does.**

A few weeks later, I was regretting my decision to quit smoking. While I made the track team after getting a doctor's note, I wasn't so sure the extreme cravings for a cigarette were worth it. I craved a smoke day in and day out and my complaining was driving the gang crazy. I was really regretting my decision to quit when Mr. Syme announced that morning that we were going to get our themes back that day. I was so nervous I could have thrown up thinking about what sort of grade I received on my theme. All kinds of what ifs flew through my head at top speed. What if I failed the theme? What if it's the worst theme Mr. Syme's ever read? What if I fail this class and get put back down a grade? What if Darry disowns me for failing and puts me in a boys' home?

I shuddered at the what ifs and pushed them out of my head. It would do no good to be thinking of things like that. Whatever grade I got on the paper was the grade I got and there was nothing I could do to change that. I let out a shaky breath as Mr. Syme placed my theme upside down on my desk. Slowly, I turned it over, revealing the grade underneath. I gasped in shock. There, written in the upper right corner of my theme was an A+! I got an A+ on my theme! Even more amazing, right next to the A+ there was a message from Mr. Syme. It said:

 _Ponyboy,_

 _This is incredible! This is one of the most excellent themes I have ever read. In fact, it may be the best theme I've ever read period. You went above and beyond my expectations and I can assure you that you'll pass with more than a C. Please consider publishing this theme, the world deserves to hear your story._

My jaw almost fell to the floor in shock when I read his note. I wasn't going to fail English; in fact, Mr. Syme thought my theme was so good that it should be published! I wasn't so sure if I wanted to do that, I mean the story was real personal and it took all my courage just to share it with my English teacher for crying out loud. The rest of the period passed by quickly and before I could hurry off to math class, Mr. Syme pulled me aside.

"Ponyboy, I want to talk to you about your theme,"

"What about it, Mr. Syme?"

"I think you should get it published, Ponyboy," Mr. Syme explained. "It is a very well written piece and I think the world deserves to hear your powerful story."

"I don't know, Mr. Syme," I admitted. "I mean, it took a lot of courage just to write the theme in the first place for you,"

"I understand, Ponyboy," Mr. Syme smiled. "But if you change your mind, just let me know, ok?"

"Alright, thanks, Mr. Syme," I waved. "See you Monday!"

"See you Monday, Ponyboy," Mr. Syme replied.

I walked off to face the rest of my day at school. After school, Two-Bit dropped me off at home because he wanted to hunt some action and I couldn't go anywhere until I was done my homework. That was a new rule of Darry's. Ever since I went loopy from getting my head kicked in, Darry wanted to make sure my schoolwork was done properly before I went anywhere. It was a huge pain in the neck, but unless I wanted Darry to ground me until the day I die, I had to get my homework done. It didn't take long to finish it tonight as I was finally getting back into the swing of things. I was just finishing up my last science question when I heard a familiar voice call,

"I'm home!"

"Hey, Sodapop," I grinned, looking up from my homework.

"Hey, Pony," he called back, kicking off his shoes and jumping on the couch next to me. "How was school?"

"It was great!" I was beaming by now, bursting to tell Soda the good news. "I got my theme back today,"

"And?" Soda prompted.

"I got an A+ on it!"

"That's my brainy little brother!" Soda whooped and high-fived me. "I knew you could do it, kiddo!"

"Thanks, Soda," I smiled contentedly. "So, how was work today?"

"Not bad," Soda admitted. "Kind of slow and Old Man Foster says the DX brand was sold to Sunoco so I don't know how much longer we're gonna stay a DX,"

"It'll be ok, Soda," I comforted. "DX or Sunoco, I'm sure they'll keep you on. After all, you draw more girls to the station than honey does flies."

"You're damn straight!" Soda hooted.

"Hey! Watch your language, little buddy," Darry warned as he walked in the door.

"Hey, Darry!" I called excitedly. "Guess what?"

"What, kiddo?" Darry sighed.

"I got my theme back today," I began.

"And, what'd ya get on it?" Darry asked.

"I got an A+, Dar!" I hollered happily.

"An A+?!"

"An A+!"

"Oh, Ponyboy!" Darry exclaimed happily, picking me up in a bear hug and swinging me around. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo! You did it!"

"I did it!" I laughed and hugged Darry back tight.

"We should celebrate," Soda suggested.

"Alright," Darry agreed. "What do you wanna do Pone?"

"Could we go to the Dingo for dinner?" I asked hopefully.

"Why? You trying to get out of making dinner?" Darry teased.

"Maybe," I replied cheekily.

"It's fine, kid," Darry laughed, ruffling my hair. "We're due for a night out anyways,"

So, we all piled in the truck and drove off to the Dingo, with the radio cranked and singing loudly and obnoxiously to Elvis Presley all the way there. When we got there, we grabbed a table and ordered our usual: three deluxe burgers, three Pepsis and two large baskets of fries for the table. Our waitress left to get our food and the three of us sat there chatting and enjoying each others company. It had been a long time since I had been able to hang out with just my brothers and I was enjoying every minute of it. That is, until Soda's old school buddy, Sam Nicholson, came over to say hello.

"Hey, Soda," he grinned. "Long time, no see,"

"Hey, Sam," Soda grinned back. "What's going on with you?"

"I'm headed off to 'Nam in a week," Sam answered wryly.

"Aw, jeez, man, that sucks," Soda empathized.

"It's not so bad, Soda," Sam replied. "I mean, I want to go,"

"Are you crazy?" Soda gaped.

"No, I ain't crazy," Sam laughed. "They need boys like us over there. After all, those little rich sissies are runnin' away from fightin' and someone's gotta do it. Besides, it pays real good and I'll be able to kick some ass without gettin' arrested."

Soda looked at Sam thoughtfully, like he was contemplating something. Oh, shit, I thought, horrified. Please, Soda, please don't be thinking what I think you're thinking.

"Darry," Soda began.

"No," Darry answered, flatly.

"But, Dar-"

"I said no, Sodapop Patrick," Darry bit back firmly. "You are not going over there. I have given up too much to keep this family together. You ain't gonna throw it all away just because you want to play the hero. No way, Sodapop, no way, no how."

At that moment our food arrived, but I wasn't very hungry. I couldn't believe my happy-go-lucky brother wanted to leave us to and risk his life in a war halfway across the world. I almost felt like crying. I lifted my burger and stared at it wordlessly.

"You okay, Pony?" Darry asked biting into his burger.

"Yeah," I replied quietly. "But, Soda, are you really thinking of going to 'Nam?"

"Well, not till I'm eighteen anyways," Soda answered. "Don't worry, Pony, even if I do go I won't be stupid about it."

"You're not going anyway," Darry cut in.

"But, Darry-"

"I don't want to hear it, Sodapop," Darry shot back firmly. "You're scaring your brother and this is supposed to be his night. Now enough of those thoughts, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Darry," Soda mumbled.

I dropped my head and began to eat, staring at my two brothers. I sincerely hoped for all our sakes that Soda wouldn't go off to 'Nam. I don't know how our family would even survive if he did.

 **Sodapop (grinning his movie star grin): Please review this story**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor have I ever owned** _ **The Outsiders**_ **. That honour belongs to the lovely and talented S.E. Hinton. Copyright 1967 Speak Press.**

Things just got worse and worse after the tense dinner at the Dingo. Sodapop lost his job at the DX because it was rebranded and re-staffed with Sunoco employees after Sunoco bought the DX company out. While Steve somehow managed to keep his job at the DX, Soda was kicked to the curb and had to find work elsewhere. He was now working at the supermarket as a stocker and checker and it didn't pay nearly as well as the DX. In fact, Soda was only making about half of his original paycheque. We didn't starve or anything, but we couldn't very well continue to eat like horses, so for example, instead of two chickens, we bought one and we could only eat one piece of chicken each so that there'd be enough for lunches the next day. The house was always cold too, which wouldn't have been so bad if it was summer, but we were in the middle of winter. I wanted to turn the heat up so bad but Darry said that if we moved the dial from where he set it then we'd have to pay twice as much for the heating bill and that would eat up the little money we had. So, we'd all sit huddled together under the blankets on the couch when it got really cold and we always had to wear a sweater in the house and sometimes even a coat.

We couldn't even watch TV all that much anymore because it ate into the electricity bills, which ticked off the gang because they usually bummed around at our house and the TV was usually a distraction from Soda and sometimes Two-Bit cheating at cards. The gang didn't really come over too much anymore because we had to save every penny. I didn't tell my brothers this, but I was worried Social Services would think we were too poor to stay together and would split us up. I wanted to get a job after school but Darry said no and told me he'd skin me if he caught me working.

So, I tried to focus as best I could at bringing up grades as close to A's as possible from the failing marks they used to be. After all, I didn't want to add to my brothers' stress by failing out school. One Saturday afternoon, I was putting away my homework after finishing it that evening when I saw my theme. It was so personal and raw that I didn't even know at first if I wanted it published. Now, I knew for sure that I wanted it published. I needed other boys to know they weren't alone in the world so there wouldn't be anymore Bobs, Dallys, or Johnnys. It would also bring in money from sales of the book, so that would help my brothers out a bit. There was just one thing: I couldn't in good conscience publish it without letting Darry read it first. Sure, I hadn't written very nice things about Steve, but I didn't give a hang what he thought about it and I knew Two-Bit wouldn't care at all about what I wrote. When I wrote about Soda, I wrote only good things so I knew he'd be fine with me publishing the theme. The things I wrote about Darry, however, weren't very nice, especially because the part with him hitting me was included. I wanted Darry to read it so he could decide if he was okay with the world knowing about his homelife. I owed him that. After all, I had nightmares a lot, ate him out of house and home, and didn't exactly behave perfectly all the time. I was a burden to Darry, plain and simple, and by letting him read the theme I hoped to be less of one. I picked my theme up and walked out to the living room where Darry was sitting on the couch finishing up reading the newspaper.

"Hey, Darry," I called.

"Hey, Ponyboy, what's up kiddo, you need something?" Darry asked.

"Actually, yeah," I began.

"Well spit it out, Pone, I don't have all day," Darry teased.

"I want to publish my theme," I blurted out.

"What?" Darry looked baffled.

"I wanna publish my theme, Dar," I repeated. "Mr. Syme says it's good enough to be published and I want other kids to read it so they know they're not alone in the world and-"

"Slow down, kiddo," Darry chuckled. "That's great, Pony, but what has this got to do with me?"

"I want you to read it first," I explained. "I don't want to publish it unless you're okay with what I've written,"

"Are you sure you want me to read this, Ponyboy?" Darry asked.

"I'm positive," I replied firmly, thrusting the theme out towards Darry.

"Ok, then," Darry sighed, taking the theme from my hands. "I'll read it."

Darry began to read the theme in earnest and I picked up my own library book, _The Chrysalids_ by John Wyndham, and tried to read it, but I kept glancing at Darry to see his reaction to my theme. Darry's face didn't change much and I figured he must never lose at poker with a face like that. I couldn't sit still wondering if Darry would be mad about the things that I wrote about him. Darry suddenly looked up at me and said very firmly,

"Ponyboy Curtis, if you want me to finish reading this theme then please sit still,"

"Sorry, Darry," I replied sheepishly. "Would I be able to go for a quick walk outside while you read?

"Sure, little man," Darry answered. "Just don't go any farther than the lot and holler if you get into a jam, you dig?"

"Yes, Darry,"

"Alright, then, scoot," Darry said, give me a playful tap on the rear and sending me out the door.

As I walked, I couldn't help but think that Darry would hate me because of what I'd written. He'd probably want to kick me out and I couldn't blame him. After all, what I wrote was an invasion of his privacy. I made it to the lot and wanted a smoke really badly but I knew I couldn't if I wanted to stay on the track team and make Darry proud. I pulled out a pack of gum instead, took out a piece, and started chewing it. It really helped to take the edge off of not having a cigarette. I looked towards the clouds, chewing my gum, and wondering if Johnny and Dally were happy wherever they were. I sat there, daydreaming and chewing my gum, for a long time. When I finally snapped out it, I saw the sun had moved and realized I'd better get back home before Darry flipped out. I hurried up the steps and in the front door, not paying attention, and ran straight into Darry's chest. I stared up at him wide-eyed and hoped he wouldn't be too angry.

"Where've you been, Ponyboy?" Darry asked firmly. "I sent you out over two hours ago!"

"I'm so sorry, Darry," I blushed. "I was just down at the lot watching the clouds and thinking about stuff and I lost track of the time,"

"You need to get a watch, Ponyboy," Darry sighed. "You nearly gave me a heart attack, kiddo,"

"Ok," I agreed. "I'm sorry I scared you, Darry, I didn't mean to, honest!"

"I know," Darry replied, gently taking my small hands in his large ones and guiding me over to the couch. "You and I have to have a talk, Pone,"

"About what?"

"About your theme," Darry stated bluntly.

"What about it?"

"It was really good, Pony, but there's some things you and I need to talk about," Darry stated seriously. "Starting with, why on earth would you think that you shouldn't tell me when you're scared or hurt? I mean I knew you were terrified that day you got jumped coming back from the movie house. I ain't stupid, Ponyboy,"

"Well, it's just-" I started.

"Just what, Pony?" Darry urged.

"Just that I know all the other guys don't act all freaked out or get upset over getting hurt," I rambled. "And, I dunno, I guess I didn't want to make myself even more of a burden or make you resent or hate me or something,"

"Ponyboy Curtis," Darry gasped shocked. "Where in the heck did you ever get the idea that I hate you?"

He looked real sad and I've never seen Darry look like that, not since Mom and Dad died. I gulped and took a deep breath.

"I-I don't know," I whispered.

"I think you do," Darry replied gently. "Talk to me, kiddo,"

"I-it's not fair!" I shouted suddenly, feeling my eyes fill with tears. "You were supposed to go to college and then Mom and Dad died and instead of leaving us, you chose to look after us. You chose me. Why did you choose me?! I never come home on time, I talk back to you, I pull stupid stunts, I eat food you and Sodapop could be eating, and I wake you up from nightmares every night! You spend money on me that you could be spending on books and college tuition and having a good time! You're making yourself, miserable, Darry, and you're growing old too quick and I hate it! You should be hanging out with friends, going to parties, and making out with girls, not raising two boys! I'm nothing b-but a BURDEN!"

I angrily swiped away the stupid tears falling down my cheeks, but couldn't stop crying and started panicking a little. I felt arms surround me and I tried to push them away, but they hugged me tight and I felt my head being placed against Darry's chest. I stopped struggling and inhaled the comforting scent of soap and roofing tar as Darry spoke,

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, you are not now nor have you ever been a burden, do you hear me?"

I nodded and hiccupped.

"I chose to leave college, Pony, because I love you," Darry explained with a quietness and gentleness I didn't know he had. "I wouldn't be able to enjoy college if I knew my kid brothers were living in a home somewhere. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I were that selfish. Yeah, it sucks that life made me grow up too quick, but I don't regret dropping out to take care of you for even a second. You might scare the crap out of me by being late, and you might pull some harebrained stunts, and eat like a horse, but you're just a kid, Ponyboy, you're supposed to do those things. I know you think I get irritated by your nightmares, but I don't, honey. I get scared I'm not doing my job to protect you if you're waking up terrified. Soda may be pretty good at comforting you, but you can always come to me if you need to. Ponyboy, I don't want you to be a perfect. I love you just as you are, baby,"

"I love you too, Darry," I sniffled, wiping my nose on his shirt.

"Eww," Darry laughed, grabbing a Kleenex. "Blow your nose, little buddy,"

I took the tissue from him and blew my nose, not moving away from Darry's chest just yet. I knew he loved me, but there was still a lingering doubt about something I wrote.

"Darry?" I asked, "Do you think I could get taken away because of my theme?"

Darry's grip on me tightened slightly and he answered,

"No, baby, they won't take you away from me. I won't let them, I promise Ponyboy,"

"But, Darry," I protested. "I put in that part about you hitting me and-"

"Calm down, Pony," Darry instructed soothingly. "Deep breathes, little buddy, in and out, there you go. Now, they aren't gonna take you away from me baby because we already dealt with that situation in court. They know I hit ya, but they also know it was a one-off thing. I hope you know that too."

"I do Darry," I nodded. "I do,"

"Good," Darry ruffled my hair. "But there's still two more things we've gotta talk about,"

"What are they?" I asked softly.

"Your fever the night of the rumble and how many aspirins you took mister," Darry gave me a pointed look.

"Oh,"

"Yeah, oh," Darry scolded lightly. "I knew you weren't looking so good that day, Ponyboy, I ain't stupid. I never should have let you be in that rumble and you shouldn't have taken so much aspirin to help your headache. You could have killed yourself doing that. It's no wonder you passed out, besides the concussion. Don't you ever keep it from me that you're sick ever again, do you understand?"

"Yes, Darry," I replied embarrassed. "I just didn't wanna bother ya'll or anything. I just wanted my headache to go away and I thought that four aspirins would work better than two and I know you can't miss work too much,"

"Be that as it may," Darry replied firmly. "Your health is important, Ponyboy, and even if I couldn't stay with you, I'd get someone from the gang to be there. Also, from now on, you are not taking any medicine without direct supervision until I can trust you to take the right amount. I know it's hard that Mom ain't here to look after us when we're sick anymore, but we'll make it work,"

"Ok," I nodded. "I miss her, Dad too."

"I know, baby," Darry murmured, stroking my hair. "I know. Me too."

I cried myself out into my brother's chest and then asked softly,

"Do you think Mom and Dad woulda been proud of us?"

Darry kissed the top of my head and answered softly,

"I know they would have been, just like I'm proud of you,"

"You're proud of me?" I asked shyly.

"Mmmhmm," Darry nodded. "Every day,"

I smiled, feeling warm inside and I knew everything was going to work out fine. Darry loved my theme, but most importantly I knew for certain that he was proud of me and loved me, just like Soda. I knew nothing else mattered after that. We could have nothing at all, but as long as we had each other everything would be ok.

 **Sorry for the long wait to update! I've been super busy lately and I've been admittedly putting this off. I'll try to keep updating but bear with me as things could get busy again. Please check out my other stories and as always, review, review, review!**


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